A Modest Proposal

I come to you with a sad heart, feeling distant and alone due to the rate of which people are ending their lives, far sooner than intended. This rate is very large and I must proclaim that something has got to be done in order to stop these events from occurring. After weighing whether or not this would hurt things like population control or a funeral home’s supply for business, I decided that the benefits out way the costs, leading me to my only possible conclusion. I propose that a society of children be raised to watch every person in the world, through the technology we have today, in order to prevent people from committing suicide.

This may seem like an invasion of your privacy, but if you truly loved your country and had a heart for your fellow man, you would not mind a little invasion, since governments already track your every move. In order to complete my plan of action, one child will be taken at birth from every family that has at least two children. The second child is the most obvious choice since parents only really love their first child anyway.

I can understand that one may believe this is not possible but, this idea could change the world in a way nobody has tried to do yet—believe me there aren’t many of these ways left. First, if a new society is raised just to watch people there would be more jobs left for the rest of that generation, decreasing unemployment rates which, coincidentally, can lead to depression, a cause of suicide.

Second, if one child is taken from homes with two or more children, that family’s financial burden will lesson, and their love will not have to be stretched out over a vast sea of offspring. This, in itself, will decrease the suicide rate since children will fell more loved and parents will not feel over worked.

Third, these children, turned spies, will not feel any emotion, so they will not be out in the world looking for their ‘one true love’ – this will give the rest of you mediocre people a change to feel love in your life.

Forth, this system will not be abused to monitor criminals, so their line of work will not be interrupted while the trained agents are looking for suicidal people. Therefore, no civil liberties will be violated by the proposal; at least ones the government hasn’t already violated.

I can think of nothing any one can say against this proposal due to my long thought process of over fifteen minutes of how to stop this problem. Thing such as being nicer to people, showing people close to us that we care about them, asking for professional help when we feel helpless, eliminating unnecessary stressors from our lives including: buying items we don’t have the money to pay for, trying to have perfect relationships with people who aren’t perfect, attempting to get A’s on every AP test we take, worrying about people we can’t help, wondering how we are going to support our habits of cigarettes and alcohol that we use to suppress these other stressors; are just a few of the things we can never accomplish to lesson the rate of suicide in the world.

After all of these reasons I do believe everyone should be on my side in agreeing that this is the only way to help suicide. Obviously, I am an objective judge to this since I have never wanted to commit suicide nor will I care if my child is taken since, I do not plan on having children.